This blog is more like a chapter from a book (which I'm determined to write one day!). But for now, here it is, in blog format. It is quite a long one, so maybe you can save it for the weekend and pour yourself a cup of tea before going ahead to read this so-called short chapter in my life.
It's in story form, and something that just poured out of me in two hours. Therefore I trust that it needs to be shared. With the Sensitive Soul community. It is a story of falling. Of healing. Of rising. Of triumph. I hope you enjoy it and are able to receive some insights for yourself when it comes to your own healing process. Whether it be physical, emotional, mental or Spiritual.
I got dressed up like a Goddess, went to a festival, and danced my arse off on New Years Eve night and into the morning hours of New Years Day.
It was pure bliss.
And it was something I SO BADLY NEEDED...
2 Sensitive Souls rocking the dancefloor:
Me and Ruth (the organiser of HSP Melbourne!)
Back-tracking to Xmas Day...
I woke up feeling exhausted, foggy headed and my throat and heart were pounding.
In just a few hours I was to attend one of my dearest friend's family Xmas gatherings.
But judging how I felt, this was something I was going to have to miss. And instead, spend the day in bed.
So I called my friend to let her know I regretfully wouldn't be attending, and straight after that, I jumped into bed, into what seemed like a coma of a sleep.
I woke up after 5 hours of very deep sleep. Upon waking, various thoughts, feelings and conversations occurred to me and came into my mind. It's as if a jigsaw puzzle was somehow being put together, and all the pieces and their order were being presented to me.
Back-tracking three weeks...
I'd been to the doctor to have some blood tests ordered that my naturopath had requested.
The results came back with a number of issues presenting themselves.
The main issues involved a poor immune system, with my white blood cell count being very low. And my thyroid gland was also shown to be in trouble, it was being attacked by something foreign.
I've known for almost 7 years now, that something has been going wrong with my body, my health, but blood tests had not shown anything up until now.
Apparently things have to get quite bad with auto-immune issues before they show up in our bloods!
Anyway, I was grateful to finally have some answers.
However, soon after learning about these results, my heart and throat began to pound and throb in pain. First it began intermittently and then it continued for 3 days straight! My chest started hurting and pain began shooting all around my back, chest and down my arms.
It got to such a point that one night, I ended up in an ambulance, then in the emergency ward of the Alfred Hospital for a 6-hour heart monitoring session.
Man, what a drama! As if shit hadn't already been bad enough with me falling into depression just 2 weeks before that! (Lol... I'm laughing now!).
Anyways, I got dismissed as they couldn't find anything, and the next day I felt better and also felt good for a couple of days after that.
Then it started again. The pounding heart and throat. The chest pains. And this time, I was also crashing every afternoon. At about 2pm, my body would crash and I'd have to sleep for two hours.
All if this went on until Xmas day.
In the days leading up to Xmas, I had visited my naturopath to give her an update on my situation. She said that the medical system would have most likely diagnosed me with 'Grave's Disease.' A disease of the thyroid.
Great! I thought. That's all I need right now! I felt a pang of fear within me...
But she assured me, that all was going to be ok. We'd get through this... Naturally!
I relaxed. I believed her. I trusted her.
So here I was, Xmas day, in bed. With thoughts, feelings and conversations coming into my mind.
The first words that were very clear were those spoken to me, only a couple of days prior, from a dear friend and teacher from Byron Bay who is an Aboriginal elder, and an experienced energy healing practitioner.
She tested my health issues on an energetic level and told me that the issue did not stem from the physical. It was in fact an issue of the emotional level. An inner child level to be exact.
This really stood out in my mind upon waking.
So what did I do?
Yes, I decided to pay a visit to my inner-child.
As an experienced energy healing practitioner myself, I am aware that we more often than not, we end up re-visiting our inner-child, to heal a wound that was created when we were young, due to our needs not being met at the time.
This is especially the case when using the healing modality EFT (emotional freedom technique).
It had been quite some time since I'd visited my inner-child, as how I've been healing myself has been to simply feel the emotion that is present in the now, breathe, and give it space to release.
However in this moment, it was clearly time to check in and see how my little girl was travelling.
These days, and due to the fact that I've undertaken years and years of deep inner-healing work, I can now use my intuition and my mind's eye (or third eye) to actually 'see' my inner-child, where she actually 'shows' me and 'tells' me what it is she didn't get at the time, and therefore, what she needs from me now.
On this day, I tuned in and asked how my inner my inner-child was doing.
She wasn't happy.
She was sitting in the corner of a dark room, looking upset.
I asked what was the matter.
She said she felt neglected.
I asked why.
Then up came all of these images, in my minds eye, of when I was young, and in circumstances where I'd felt neglected, alone and unsupported.
There were about three of them.
And without going into detail, I knew what I had to do.
As an adult. The adult version of Paula. The strong, motherly, empowered feminine version of Paula, had to go in and give my complete, unwavering, attention and support to my wounded inner child.
I needed to be there for her. Hold her when times got tough. Stand up for her when she felt threatened. Support her when she felt alone. Encourage her when she was doing something that frightened her.
In my minds eye, I stepped in. In every circumstance that was shown to me, I stepped in and held her. Held her in any way I possibly could, for the circumstance that she was in.
This was a very deep, intensive process.
But man... It was bloody worth it!
Because all of a sudden, the next day, I had this burst of energy. And sudden motivation to put healing my physical health at the forefront of absolutely everything else (I'd been letting other things take the forefront)!
I began following the guidance of other images and words that had fallen into my mind as I lay in my bed on Xmas Day, and therefore:
I began following my naturopath's instructions to the tee (I have been lazy with this!).
I began a raw food smoothie diet. Fruit smoothie in the morning, a vegetable smoothie at night. And only some cooked veggies and carbs in between.
This diet is something my intuition has been screaming at me to do for some time now, but resistance (and my inner child!) was blocking me from doing so, from listening, and from taking charge of my health...
The daily energy crashes stopped the very next day, and haven't come back since.
The heart and throat pounding is down to between 10-20% of what it was prior to Xmas.
My energy levels have risen.
My mind is clearer.
I'm feeling more grounded.
My body feels stronger.
Green Smoothies: My Medicine
And the very best part of all?
Yes, back to the beginning of this story...
I was able to dance for almost 4 hours straight on NYE night!! (This would be unheard of a couple of months back).
And it was a truly amazing, sacred and connecting experience.
(Deep gratitude to the absolutely amazing Deya Dova for the sound healing journey you took us on; to DJ Mickey Space for the deep, tribal, grounding tunes; and to the beautfiul Paras 'Paradise' Yasdani for organsising this incredible event: Tribe!)
The next day I was on cloud 9, feeling completely embodied, completely nourished, completely blissed out...
So what does this story want to say as its' moral?
My feeling is...
Just how important it is to really listen in, hear, see, and take notice of what our inner child needs, what it wants to tell us, and what it needs to heal.
Our inner child holds a HUGE POWER in our energy field. And if its' needs are not being met, or have not been met in the past, this energy is likely to hold us back, block us, create resistance, and prevent us from moving forward.
If we do not go in to do the work. The healing work. The acknowledgement. The meeting of needs. Then this energy of our inner child, can sabotage our each and every move, when it comes to moving forward in life.
If honoured, nurtured and seen on the other hand, our inner child can be a our biggest cheerleader, supporting us, guiding us and loving us when her/his needs are being met.
** If you are at the stage where you have not as yet met your inner child, and would like to do so, I am offering a new and exciting full-day workshop on Sunday, February 5th, 2017. Details coming soon, but it will be an amazing opportunity to meet our inner child and ask them what we can do to remove any blocks that are preventing us from living that beautiful life that we envision for ourselves.
** To start off this process, my next Meetup session will begin the envisioning and declaring part of intentionally creating our 2017 year. This will be held on Thursday night, January 19th, at 7pm in Elwood. Click below for bookings/sign-up/details:
'Envisioning, Declaring and Magnetising our 2017 Intentions.'
** You are also welcome to begin working with me, where we can use either Reiki, EFT or Intuitive Guidance (to suit your needs) to access and meet your inner child. Here is where we can begin the healing process so that you can remove the energetic blocks preventing onwards and upwards movement in your life.
You can book in a session with me here.
Writer. Empowerment Mentor. Spiritual Guide for Sensitive Souls.
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