Another reason to grieve was presented to me last week as yet another loss became a reality, in my life. However rather than being a circumstantial loss, this was a loss of a living being, which was even more painful than the former, to endure. And it is at this point in time, I am delving into the questions. The questions of why. Why is it. That lately, as I try to move ahead, move forward, and lift my vibration, I only seem to be met with challenges, and losses, that inevitably send me into the spiral of grief. So in asking these questions of our Infinite Spirit, I have received some answers, which I've elaborated upon, below...
As I come to know myself even more, as a sensitive soul, an Empath, and as an INFP personality type, the more I realise that feeling such deep, intense, raw and real emotion, perhaps always will be, a very core part of who I am. And as I've mentioned a number of times, that even though the intensity of my emotions has lessened significantly over the years (especially due to Auric Clearing!), when something like such a loss hits, it shows me, yet again, just how vulnerable, soft, delicate and emotionally fragile I can be, as a deep-feeling sensitive soul.
And whilst I'll admit, a part of me has been denying these aspects in myself, and opting to present as a strong, empowered personality, part of that is actually bullshit. As yes, whilst being a sensitive soul, I believe we are inherently, incredibly strong, and can withstand many a trauma and tragedy (this is often what we are best at handling!), however, I strongly feel it's time, really time, to accept and honour that fragile, delicate and soft part of our selves. That part that makes us sensitive, vulnerable and gentle, traits which are so desperately needed in this world, at this point in time.
In saying this, in the past when I've gone through difficult periods, the 'deny-er' and 'protector' in me has sheltered those delicate parts by putting up a front, and not allowing myself to receive help and support when I really needed it. Stating "I'm ok!" "I'm fine," "don't worry about me!" Ooh yes, once again, a bit of BS detected here on the radar.
Because you know what?
So often we're not fine. And we just need a listening ear. A warm hug. A shoulder to cry on. Some words of comfort, empathy and support.
This time round, during this difficult patch. I had access to all the above. For the first time, I completely allowed the most delicate parts of myself to show through. And as a result of doing so, I opened myself up to receive the most amazing and loving support I've had in years...
All because I was vulnerable enough to show where I'm truly at. And who I truly am. A strong yet deeply sensitive and fragile human being.
So yes... In saying this... We as sensitive souls can continue moving through life...
Hiding our sensitivity...
Hiding our fragility...
Protecting our hearts with those strong, giant walls....
Or we can risk (yes it takes courage!) showing these true, real, raw and BEAUTIFUL parts of ourselves to those who mean the most to us...
And open ourselves up to the possibility of forming even deeper connections with those that we love...
And isn't connection, truly, what us sensitive souls live for?
[Question answered... I get it now. It's all about breaking down those walls of separation, to become more and more connected. To others, to ourselves, to Mother Earth and to life... thank you Infinite Spirit xx]
Writer. Empowerment Mentor. Spiritual Guide for Sensitive Souls.
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